FLASH FACTS
And KAPTARA issue nine!
A short newsletter today.
HOORAY
I was emailing with a former DC editor recently and I reminded them that, years ago, I was invited to pitch to be the fill-in writer on THE FLASH. Now, The Flash is in my top five favourite superhero titles. I obsessed over THE TRIAL OF THE FLASH when I was a kid, loved the post-Crisis Wally reboot and was all-in on Mark Waid’s run (it’s true Mark are you happy).
I didn’t say yes right away. I did what I always do: I went away, cried in the dark and tried to come up with a story I’d like to do.
And I had nothing. It was almost embarrassing! I loved the book! I obsessively taped the teevee show when it first aired! But sometimes you can love something and also not be the right person to write it.
Also, this isn’t entirely true. I had one idea, which I’ll share with you now. I knew it wasn’t what they were looking for, so I didn’t even bother sending it in.
My idea was for a new group of villains for The Flash called THE TURTLE GANG. They were a group of senior citizens who decided to come out of retirement and start robbing banks again. Their shtick was that they planned everything out so they could take their time. A nice, leisurely bank robbery. They get creative in dealing with The Flash, with their go-to move being to somehow slip him a laxative, causing him to do the one thing he can’t do at super-speed: shit.
Honestly, just the idea of a five-page sequence of senior citizens robbing a bank while The Flash is on a toilet was all I needed to make the endeavour worthwhile in my heart, so I moved on with my life at hyper-regular speed.
And I’m sure a lot of you are wondering who that ex-DC editor is? Well … let’s just say they did all right for themselves after that and got out of comics. Their name? That’s right: Joe Biden.
And now! For my dear paid subscribers, the final chapter of KAPTARA ISSUE NINE! As always, the complete issue is in our MEGA-THREAD as handy PDF and CBZ formats! Enjoy!