Newsletter #20: Calm Down

It blows my mind that the era of psychedelic music was over FIFTY years ago and yet I'm high right now

CHIP WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN

Um, enjoying the holidays? With the overwhelming feeling that my enjoyment is resulting in a wild backlog of work that causes my chest to tighten? So get off my back!

Anyway, here I am. The year is 2020 and it’s time for a brand new me! A me that actually cares about you, the fans. I know what you’re thinking. “Uh, what the fuck, Chip? Are you saying you didn’t care about me before?” You’re 100% correct. You never once crossed my mind. I selfishly have been writing comics for myself, and for my best friend Tony, who is more of a DC man to be honest and keeps calling me with inane questions about my stories.

But now, that’s all changed. Tony died in a car crash and I’m going to write for you. You want Spider-Man to be incredibly happy? Done. You want Daredevil to settle down with your favourite of his many love interests? Done and done. You want me off the book and preferably out of the industry? Done. You want Mr. Fantastic to have a Bill Nye style show called “That’s Fantastic” where by the end of every episode he forgets to properly shield a close friend from cosmic rays and they turn into a monster? Done.

It’s the new Chip. I’m Here For You™

As part of my new outlook, here are some hot tips for writing. Enjoy.


COOL COOL SO WHAT’S ACTUALLY NEW

Not much! I’m halfway through drawing issue 28 of SEX CRIMINALS and everything in it is a spoiler except for this I guess.

Working on FANTASTIC FOUR / X-MEN is a delight. Terry and Rachel and Laura! An actual DREAM TEAM!

Jason, Paris and Aditya are in hell for AFTERLIFT #4, both in terms of story and in terms of working with me!

Marco is working hard on issue 19 of Daredevil and he manages to make even BOOTS look like the coolest things you’ve ever seen.


Fuck, now I’m looking up at my tortoise fucking page and realizing I’m a pretty shitty artist fuck fuck fuck

Imagine Marco Checchetto drawing tortoises fucking??

CHIP ANSWERS QUESTIONS

Every week I’ll answer one POLITE and RESPECTFUL question about my life as a tortoise artist or as a non-tortoise writer. The email is zdarskyletters@gmail.com.

Hey Chip, 

Just wanted to say I love your Daredevil run.  It's fucking stellar.  I've been on board for the entire run so far.  Just finished issue #14 and it was amazeballs.  Marco's art is insane. I love how in the diner scene you can see the wall is torn up and bits of trash on the floor and the waitress's expression, etc.  It's so real fucking life man.  I dig the shit out of it. 

My question is:  Will you please put a fucking letters page in Daredevil?  Come on man.  Al Ewing does it in the only other Marvel title as great as Daredevil and it would be great to see it in Daredevil too. I would write a letter so fucking awesome you would publish it and everyone would be like holy shit this letters column is sick as fucking shit man.  You could call it Dareletters.  

Also, I read just about everything you put out and think you're a great writer.  Thanks for churning out such fantastic content. 

Also, you crack me the fuck up.  Thanks for being so hilarious. 

Have a great day. 

Luke

Yeah, I fucking GET IT, Marco is an amazing artist! Calm down!!

And look, isn’t this right here enough? It’s like a letters page delivered straight to your inbox!

Honestly, the reason we don’t have a Daredevil letters page is because I don’t care about the fans.

Love,
Chip


GOODBYE

I recently shut down my tumblr because, frankly, half the posts were missing anyway because they were considered “adult content.” Yeah, guess what, tumblr? I’m a fucking adult! Get used to it!!

Anyway, I went through and grabbed my favourite dumb shit that I made over the years and I will use this spot to put out one with every newsletter.

Bye