Newsletter #5: I Made A Huge Mistake

Lot of people say to "fight fire with fire," but then why was I arrested for starting a fire in an already burning building?

So, I guess I wasn’t oblique enough when talking about PROJECT INTEREXTING last week. Got an angry call from Marvel, who were notified about my newsletter by those fucking snitches at DC Comics. They’re furious that I spilled the beans on my new project, a sequel to HOUSE OF X (HOX) and POWERS OF X (POX) called CHIP OF X, (COX), so they cancelled it. I’ve been told there will still be seventeen variant covers of issue one, just no actual comic inside.

Well, at least I still have PROJECT WINTERESTING (SOLDIER).

WHAT’S NEW WITH CHIP

I’m currently headed to a MARVEL SUMMIT at an undisclosed location. These are the quarterly meetings where Jonathan Hickman tells me I should think about maybe drawing more and then walks away, only to jog back and say, “Sorry, I realized you might not get that because you don’t understand conversational subtleties: you should draw more because you’re a bad writer.” Ha ha! He’s such a joker!

Jonathan Hickman selling a comic to a person just trying to take a photo

It’s also where writers pitch what they’re working on. Now that COX is dead, all I have besides PROJECT WINTERESTING (SOLDIER) is DAREDEVIL. It’s hard pitching that book in the room because whenever I say “and then Daredevil smiles,” Joe Quesada groans loudly. But then when I say “and then Daredevil looks sad,” Mark Waid kicks me in the nuts and Joe Quesada squeals in delight. It’s a no-win situation, because I both love and hate getting kicked in the nuts by an industry “legend.”

All I know is, it’s time for the ol’ Chipper to step up and pitch some ideas to help other creators. Last time I tried pitching Kelly Thompson the idea that Captain Marvel needs an arch enemy named Captain Timely, but I think she just thought I was criticizing how late her scripts were. Donny Cates really liked my idea that Venom’s teeth should actually be a bunch of tongues, but his lazy piece of shit collaborator Ryan Stegman doesn’t want to explain the new status quo to his team of assistants. He has one kid who JUST draws teeth if you can believe it! “All I want to draw are muscles, poorly!” is Ryan’s daily mantra. Weird.


WHAT’S NEW WITH CHIP THAT I CAN SPEND MONEY ON

So glad you asked!

On Wednesday, INVADERS 9 is out! DEAD IN THE WATER PART III! Everything changes for Namor in this one and Cap and Bucky are basically nude. Carlos, Butch and Alex make everything very pretty.

DAREDEVIL 11! Marco is back on art! And, as always, it’s gorrrrgeous. This issue ramps things up for everyone and, weirdly, has a very cool Spiderman scene. I should write a Spiderman book one day! He’s a fun character.

God, look at how handsome Marco’s Matt Murdock is.

And we’ve got the astounding Nolan Woodard on colours! Life can’t get any better.

UNLESS

You missed DAREDEVIL ISSUE NINE. In which case, your life hasn’t been as good as it could be, so there’s a cool second printing out as well.

WHAT’S NEW WITH SEX CRIMINALS

Issue 26 colour flats have come in, and they’re QUITE seductive.


CHIP ANSWERS QUESTIONS

Every week I’ll answer one POLITE and RESPECTFUL question about my life as a pin-up model plane enthusiast or about my work. The email is zdarskyletters@gmail.com.

Hi Chip!

What advice would you give when it comes to revision?

Thanks so much,

Barron

The biggest rule, I find, is to kill your darlings. Which means Ryan Stegman will live forever (he is unloved).

Love,
Chip